I Miss My Asawa!!!

For the past few days Gin has been very busy with his project in ATC. The deadline to turn over the place is almost up and I think they are not quite finished with it yet. Plus the fact that he's already frustrated with his people. So he's been manning his project until the wee hours of the morning and this is not really what he's supposed to be doing because he has someone to do this for him. But he's not happy with the performance. Anyway, thats not the point that I am trying to drive at...

So what does this all mean? It means that I've been sleeping alone for the past couple of days. Well not really alone, Chase also sleeps in our room. The sad part of it is that lately he's been really sungit which I understand because of the pressure to meet his deadline. Good thing I wasnt PMS-ing on him! Hehehe! Because usually its him that I make sungit to whenever I am about to get my period. But come to think of it, it wouldn't be fair or right if I did that to him given the situation he is in now.

I just miss him so much! Do you think I am weird?

When I wake up for work that is the only time he will be getting his zzzz's. Then when I get home, he's not there because he's already in his project or I will see him for a few hours then he'll be rushing to leave. Anyway, he got home at 5:30AM this morning and he was the one who brought me to the terminal. Even Chase was so excited to see him. He kept on jumping and was seeking for his attention. Yesterday was really a bad day for him. He was complaining that his neck was hurting already because of the stress. (Wawa naman my Gin Gin!) Though without me saying anything, he told me while I was eating breakfast this morning "I'll make it up to you babe!" Just by hearing that put a smile in my face because he still thought of that despite all the chaos with his work. :-)

Hopefully by this weekend everything will be done already.

Different Strokes for Different Folks...

Every married couple has their own share of marital problems. I find it impossible to believe for a couple not to have one...may it be big or small. Whenever I get to talk to wives or husbands alone that share their frustrations in their marriage and compare it to mine, I cant help but be thankful for what Gin and I have. Dont get me wrong here! Our marriage is not perfect...

We too have our own "issues". I too have my nagging moments and complaining moments with Gin. But somehow despite everything, I can say I am blessed with a husband that I know who loves me dearly and who respects me for what I am. I thank God everyday for blessing me with Gin and for what we have. I guess all these trials that we go through, is a process that will make our marriage even stronger. To fight all the battles that will come our way together.

No one really said that marriage will be a bed of roses. Actually this is where you will discover new things about your husband - the positive and the negative. Funny huh? When all the while you thought you knew your husband so well already. It works both ways I guess.

Marriage is a lifetime process...a commitment that you and your husband must face together. I pray for all those couples that struggle with their marital problems everyday. May God enlighten them. May they be strong and know what is right from wrong and overcome all thay they are going through together.

To buy or not to buy? That is the question...

Aside from the dream of having our own baby. My husband and I also dream of buying our own house. I guess thats every couples dream unless you were already given a house to live in by your parents. If you are one of those couples, consider yourself very lucky!!!

After our wedding, I moved in to my husbands house that they are just renting out. We've been married for more than a year now and its been a long time plan to buy our own home. Until a friend of mine informed me a couple of months ago that her parents are selling their house because they are moving in to another place. I told Gin about it and told him to take a look at their house (even from outside). He loved it! It is a nice house and it is very well maintained. The price is also reasonable. It will be a good buy if ever things push through. We were thinking of the different options as to where we can loan. There was the bank financing or the PAG-IBIG housing loan. I told my husband, I can avail of the PAG-IBIG housing loan since that is my benefit and the monthly payment can be deducted from my salary.

My parents would always tell me, while were still young, we should grab the chance of being able to loan and invest on something. Until lately, hubby and I became pretty serious already of buying our own house. So I attended the seminar in PAG-IBIG for the housing loan last Wednesday. Its the very first step you should take before you can actually apply for a loan. My hubby on the other hand spoke to his bank and asked about their housing loan. Unfortunately, when you loan from PAG-IBIG you cant loan from them anymore. Sigh! Well, we thought it was possible to do that simultaneously.

Another option my husband brought to the table, is to buy a condo unit in this newly developed condo bldg along Sucat, Parañaque near PATTS. I automatically disregarded the idea and said "NO! I want to buy a house!!!". But after doing some thinking --- I said to myself "why dont we just buy both?!" Not a bad plan huh? Hahahaha!!! Seems like we have lots of money huh? NOT!!! Well hubby was very game with the idea. I can make use of my PAG-IBIG loan to buy the condo and he can make use of the bank loan to buy the house or vise versa. Hopefully these plans will turn into something real. Wish us luck!!!

Our dog --- Chase

Chase is a male Wired Hair Dachschund. At present he is 9 months old. We got him by accident. Chase was given to my nephew by his good friend from school. He wanted a dog badly but he couldn't handle Chase. So the few times I would visit my parents house, I would play with Chase and tease my nephew that we will take care of him instead. Until one Sunday he finally gave in. We finally have a dog. Chase was still 3 months old when we adopted him from my nephew.

This dog is very spoiled. To every letter of the word! He's like our baby or should I say he is our baby! Hehe! Why is he spoiled? Let me count the ways:

1. He sleeps in our room and take note on our bed.
2. He doesn't sleep in our room if the AC is not turned on.
3. He gets his favorite treats regularly (Pedigree tooth sticks and the bones from Nilaga)
4. He likes being fed and he likes being accompanied by me or our helper whenever its time to eat.
5. He cannot play outside the house (this is my rule - so that he wont get dirty). But we make him pasyal once in a while.

These are only some of the things I can think of that makes him a spoiled dog. But having a dog as a pet, is also like having your own child. When he's sick my husband and I really get worried. We miss him when were out. Taking him to the vet regularly for his shots. I make sure that he's fed on time. ---> Doesnt this all sound like we have our own child? Hehe! My husband was asking me, "what if we already have our own baby? Chase cant sleep in our room anymore!" I said, the baby and I will sleep in the baby's room and you will sleep with chase in our room. Does it make sense? Hehe!

Chase's bday is coming up - May 21. He'll be turning a year old. We plan to do a small celebration. Weird or funny as it may seem, but Chase has made our days more enjoyable. He's already part of our family! Even my parents love him.

Dont Give Up. Do What You Can. And Let God Surprise You.

I recently joined an online community of newly weds and women who are trying to conceive. One of the members shared a blog entry from Bo Sanchez which is very inspiring and touching at the same time. (On the side note, I love reading his inspirational stories or messages. In one way or another it touches my life or someone that I know)

There are some couples out there that waited for years to have their own baby. With countless prayers and medical treatments, at the end of it all, its still God who will determine when it is time. We just have to contine trusting Him and never give up.

The main message of the Bo Sanchez blog entry is the title of my blog entry: "DONT GIVE UP. DO WHAT YOU CAN. AND LET GOD SURPRISE YOU."

Here is a link to the blog entry: http://bosanchez.ph/receive-the-best-miracle-for-your-life/

Last night I was going through the archive of messages on APAS and read a good number of stories from fellow members of the group I joined. Somehow, it uplifted my spirit because they were mostly success stories. I told Gin about these stories I read and I saw hope in his eyes. We agreed that we should already go to the Immunologist my OB referred to us. Its a given fact that treatments for APAS will really cost a lot of money but if the end result will be our own bundle of joy, then its all worth it!

We plan to visit the Immunologist by next month. Gin and I just pray to God, that He will guide us every step of the way and help us get through all the challenges. That's why after reading the blog entry of Bo Sanchez --- I know nothing is impossible with God!

blogging

I was researching online about this condition that i have --- APAS (Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome) when I stumbled upon several blogs of women who either are also trying to conceive or have the same condition as mine. It was a good feeling for me knowing that I am not alone on this struggle my husband and I are going through. Because of this, it made me decide to create my own blog too (though I am not really good at it) but maybe this is one way to get others to share their stories with me and maybe in someway help those who are also going through pregnancy losses.

Here is my story...

My husband and I got married last December 21, 2006. At first, having kids wasn't part of our plan. We wanted to give it another year before we try making a baby. But somehow seeing our friends and relatives with their little angels made us change our minds. Three months into our marriage, I found out I was pregnant. What joy did it bring to me and my husband. A week after taking the pregnancy test, we visited my OB. Everything was okay. I took the usual vitamins and went for another check up. It was on my third check up, when my OB discovered that something was wrong. I was going on my third month and there was no heartbeat. My OB already informed us about APAS but he didn't want to confirm that I had it yet. So we tried to save the baby by injecting me with heparin and I had to take Aspilet. On my next check up, there was no baby to save anymore. The baby didn't grow and still there was no heartbeat. I was scheduled for my first DNC last April 2007. The OB said it was a blighted ovum and we should try again after 6 months. It was heartbreaking for me --- because I was so excited. I kept on crying and just felt miserable. But I had to move on. After 6 months, my husband and I tried again and guess what? I got pregnant again! We visited my OB right away and he advised me to get myself tested for APAS. I went to PGH and had my blood test. After 3 days I got the test results and showed it to my OB. The results showed that I was positive --- I have APAS!!! :-( The sad part of it all was, the day I found out I had APAS was also the day I had my second check up and found out (again) the baby was gone. My OB didn't want to be agressive so he advised me to get daily injections of heparin and to take aspirin for at least a week. Then again, it was too late to save the baby. I was scheduled for my second DNC last October 2007. This time I just wanted to give up! I felt I was being punished by God. I had a lot of quetions for him. The typical questions like: Why is this happening? What are you trying to tell me? Why me? What is your purpose for all this? But during the period of my sadness, there was one thing I realized and I should be thankful --- I realized that there are a lot of people of who really love me. Like my husband, my family and in laws, and my set of friends whom I've known for years. They helped me get through this struggle which rekindled my faith in God and just made strong again.

After my last DNC, I haven't visited my OB again or even consulted an Immunologist. Why so? To be honest I am scared. I am scared of what they will say and I am scared because we might not be able to afford it.

Right now, I am keeping my faith strong and just taking it one day at a time. Also, I am trying to look for other people who have the same condition as mine. That's why I stumbled upon those blogs. I don't know what to do actually. I know consulting an Immunologist and getting myself tested will cost a lot of money. My husband and I want to try again...but the fear of losing our baby again is over powering me. Hopefully, I will be able to find some answers or help from others.

This blog is just a start of the many blogs I will be posting about our journey --- our journey of trying to conceive!